From This Point Forward: 2009 - A Men's Fashion Retrospective

From the runway's of Paris to the stages in Milan, 2009 saw some pretty incredible fashion's for men. Not sure exactly what it was, but the fashion sense and the way the designers really captured what the average male wants or needs in a good set of clothes REALLY meshed this year! Well, I could go on, but I'll just let you see for yourself...just keep in mind, these are real designs from real fashion shows...

Introducing the Inspector Clouseau fall/winter line of men's outerwear for 2009.

Whether Gadget, or Clouseau himself, you'll be the envy of detective society in this ensemble.

Nothing says 'smart' like a mismatched hat and fake mustache...

“Vince, I know you're a Network/Computer guru and have access to private databases. I was wondering if you can help me find somebody? When I was in grade school there was this class dork...His mother used to dress him in his dad’s old hat and a big scarf, and she’d put him in a stupid coat that didn’t fasten right. We used to shove him down and take his lunch money. Can you find him for me? Since the economic downturn, times are hard, and I could use some lunch money again.” Mr. Johnson

Well, Mr. Johnson, there’s certainly nothing I enjoy more than helping the school bully. I tracked your dork to Fashion Week in Paris, where he works as a model. I’m sure he’d love to have a sentimental class reunion with you. By the way, he now has a black belt in Karate, and a license to kill. Enjoy...

I can't decide if this guy is some 'fancy-boy' gun-slinger, an extra in a Jonny Depp/Tim Burton movie or a member of the Volturi...

All I know is if I was caught wearing this entering a small town Iowa tavern, I'd soon be introduced to someone's beatin' stick.

I believe designers should be required to include, on every outfit they sell, a label suggesting places where the thing can be worn.

Where I honestly haven't a CLUE where any SANE male would wear any of the above (or below) outfits, I can tell you they are NOT appropriate attire for…

a) A visit with Grams in the nursing home

b) The 6:30 a.m. Delta Shuttle from DC to New York

c) A Vikings home game

d) An appearance on “Ice Road Truckers”, "Deadliest Catch" or "Dirty Jobs"

With all due respect, I am sitting here right now, waiting for a designer to tell me where to go in one. Oh wait...maybe they already did.

Hey! it's Alabama! No...wait, it's the Oak Ridge Boy's! Er...guess not...but that guy on the end looks like the psycho dude from 'I Know What You Did, Last Summer'.

Anyway, here's the latest in 'National Whittlin’ Museum' tour guide attire from Buenos Aires Fashion Week in 2009.

In light of the impending swine flu pandemic, the designers this year had a real dilemma...how to stay safe and yet chic

To be honest, for guys with seriously messed up teeth or breath so bad that it peel's paint, this could be your lucky day!

So check out what designers are offering to help you send the oh so, subtle message: “Hey cutie, remember you said to come back if I was the last man on Earth?”

...Really? Wow...yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me.

Quick quiz: The guy shown here is…

a) The star of a cheap “Tootsie” remake
b) The star of an off-Broadway “Tribute to Corporal Klinger”
c) A dude who lost a really high-stakes election bet
d) An actual model wearing a “creation” from a genuine designer at Milan Fashion Week.

Yeah, this one fooled me, too. Turns out this is really from a men’s collection in Milan, so get ready to go shopping, guys!

It’s kind of an interesting outfit, but it isn’t clear to me whether we’re supposed to wear it to the office, football games, or just for casual evenings out with the family.

Until I sort that out, I’m leaving mine on the hanger...