Only You

Only You


Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it up to You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now
And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

I have, for a very long time, blamed myself for my eldest son's circumstances; If I would have provided better fatherly guidance, or maybe if I would have loved him the way he needed to be loved, or possibly if I would have simply spent more time with him after his mother passed away...maybe...just maybe he would still be getting straight A's...maybe he would have continued with the sports that he loved...maybe at the age of 16 he wouldn't have become a father himself...and maybe he wouldn't have rejected the faith his mother and I instilled in him...
 
A lot of maybe's...and as I watched my son determinedly set his path on one I knew as self-destruction, I continued to heap the burning coals of condemnation on my head. It's a horrifying thing, as a parent, to watch your child turn their back on the things you hold dear and important. What happened to the little baby boy I watched take his first steps? What happened to the little boy I taught to hit a baseball? What happened to the boy I proudly coached? What happened...what have I done...
 
Last Sunday in church, God spoke to me saying:
Yes Vince, you could have provided better guidance, loved him better and spent more time with him...but you have and continue to provide him with guidance. Guidance you have gleaned from My word and the wisdom I have given you from the life you have lived and the experience, both good and bad, you have gained from it. And you love him with the heart of a father who loves his children for the potential you know they have and not with the scales of justice, weighing rights and wrongs. Your son's problems aren't a result of anything you have failed to give him...they are a direct result of the continued rebellion that he's pursuing.
 
 ...A weight was lifted and some tears followed as God helped me realize that I may not be a perfect parent, but I have given guidance, love and time to all of my children and if they choose a path of sin and rebellion...they have chosen it...not me.
 
Now, throughout this past week, I've been thinking about this and my self condemnation has been replaced with just a general sadness over my son's choices/rebellion. Today, during worship, we sang the song above (Only You) and while I was singing, I asked God, 'Thank you God for lifting this burden I placed on my own shoulders, but I am sad with the concern over his continued rebellion and the state of his soul.' God was quick to answer, Worship Me...give him over to Me...lay him down at the feet of Him who's crowned...let him go and worship Me
 
And so I will...Lord, I give him over to you, please take this and all other distractions in order that I may worship you...
 
~ V

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