Reflections on a Journey - part 3

Writing in my BLOG and relating my thoughts, fears and struggles, gave me a sense of comfort and definitely had its therapeutic effects and got me through some of the darkest days of my life.
And then God delivered a droplet of hope onto my dry and weary soul. How many times had I cried out to God, ‘What now Lord?! You KNOW my soul! I know you understand this loneliness…this emptiness I feel!’ Even so, God continued to open the skies and the droplet became a shower. Without realizing it, the shower became a torrent and before I knew it, that small droplet of hope that God had blessed me with became a river which swept over me and even the kids. This river…this hope, washed away the grit and grime of despair and prepared me for where I am today!

River of Hope (by Lisa Evans)

There is a mighty river
Flowing out of your hand
To the dry and weary soul
Hope, like a river flows.
Oh, I’ve drank from this river
I thought would never end.
Now hope eludes me,
Loneliness ensues me
And calls me his friend.
Oh, friend…..I remember you.

River of hope
You’ve gone and left me dry
And I’ve not the will to try
To find my way again.
Lord of all,
Have you let go of my hand?
For I do not understand
Why I walk this path of life alone.

Have I not called you Savior?
Have you not called me your friend?
What have you healed me for?
This open door
That leads to emptiness?
Oh, I closed that door
So many years ago,
Still hope eludes me
Emptiness ensues me
And calls me his friend.
Oh, friend…..I remember you.

River of hope
You’ve gone and left me dry
And I’ve not the will to try
To find my way again.
Lord of all,
Have you let go of my hand?
For I do not understand
Why I walk this path of life alone.

Oh, I’ve lost my way
Come and find me, Lord
I’m desperate for you…
I’m desperate for you, Jesus.
There on the bank of this river
Comes my Savior again!
With His love, He moves me
In His arms, He soothes me
And calls me His friend.
Oh, friend…..I remember you.

River of hope
Flow into my soul
With my Savior, I know
I’ll find my way again.
Lord of all,
You’re still holding my hand
One day I’ll understand
Why I walked this path of life alone.
Jesus, I know I don’t walk this path alone.


Lisa wrote this song at or close to the same time that I was dealing with my feelings of loneliness and struggles against uselessness. She was dealing with her own inner struggles and desires after being alone for over three years. She wondered and struggled against the fact that while God didn’t remove her desire to love and be loved again…He hadn’t opened the door either. It was only after she had finally gotten to the point where God needed her to be…to the place that while she still desired to end her loneliness, she realized and accepted that having God was sufficient, that He opened that door…

…So, here we are, a year later and the path of tears and sorrows are clearly marked with the footprints of Jesus where He walked with me…with us, each and every step of the way. He protected me from bitterness and blaming Him, for which I am SO grateful. He truly became my source of comfort and strength. Am I perfect? Did I always make the right choices or decisions? No…and sometimes when I’m down and my spirit is heavy, the evil one takes advantage and hits those soft…sore spots and some of us still struggle with the whys and the meaning of it all and how to move on, but God has provided that river of hope which is always just a step away where we can cleanse and refresh ourselves. I have seen a great deal of healing in all of us and God wants to finish that…when each of us is ready.

Amy is sorely missed and loved. The legacy she left behind still lives on in our memories and our children. It lives on in the lives she touched and the children she taught. She will never be forgotten because I won’t allow it to happen…Lisa won’t allow it to happen and God won’t allow it to happen.

Ephesians 3:20-21 ‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.’

~ V