Man Law Tuesday #1

OK...after much contemplation, I've decided that I've been WAY too serious in my blogging lately. So, I stepped back and thought to myself; 'Self...quit being SO heavy all the time!' Yeah, pivotal, I know...So, from now on, I declare Tuesday's to be....

You've heard of the law of the land, Murphy's Law, Maritime Law and even the Long arm of the Law. But this is MAN LAW. Little known, and never spoken of until now, Man Law's are little rules of life that men...REAL men instinctively know. So, without further ado...

MAN LAW #1: Talking in a Public restroom and other bathroom etiquette

1. Do NOT talk to anyone. If you see someone you know, a quick nod is acceptable, but NOTHING more!
2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. This is called 'primping' and is done in the restroom across the hall.
3. If you must wait, form a single-file line, and be sure to keep looking around, do not...I repeat DO NOT make eye contact! Read graffiti.
4. All graffiti is anonymous. Signing one's graffiti defeats graffiti's purpose and is not done by any man that has taste.
5. Given a string of unoccupied urinals, you must choose one on the outside. When one outside urinal is occupied, use the other side, then middle. Avoid standing directly next to somebody at all costs.
6. Don't start unzipping until you're protected by the privacy of the urinal. Always keep your eyes forward and look at the wall. Looking down means you're obsessed or don't know what you're doing. Looking at the people next to you is disturbing and in direct violation of ALL Man Laws.
7. Always flush. We're men, not animals in the forest.
8. When you find an unflushed toilet, STOP...quickly back out of the stall and use another.

I'm a man and that's MY law!

~ V